Characters
Peter #1
A young farmer. He’s recently had a daughter and is struggling a bit
financially. He is a simple man looking for a solution to his financial
problem.
Michael #2
A middle aged business man. He practices law after finally passing the bar, and
does well financially. He has an extreme gambling issue.
Setting
Small casino that
accommodates to a range of gamblers all of different wealth levels. Dim
lighting and smoke filled air. Located in the Midwest.
Time
A month after Peter’s
father passed away, leaving him with nothing. This morning MICHAEL got a tip on
a horse racing today. The present.
Act
I
Scene
1
Peter is driving down a
long strip of road with a look of despair. He has been driving for hours after
recalling today last month his father passed on. Peter needs a drink and sees a
lit up building in the distance. He pulls into the parking lot and enters into
a small casino. Peter, not wanting to be bothered, headed toward the simulcast
horse racing section that looked empty.
PETER
Umm,
Mind if I ask where you got that drink? I sure could use one but I don’t see
any help around here.
MICHAEL
Susan!
Bring this man what Im having, and uh make it a double.
PETER
Thank
you, You uh know her well?
MICHAEL
Well,
Im here often enough. I like to think im on a first name bases with everyone
here. Im Michael, and you?
PETER
Im
Peter.
As Peter sat drinking and
thinking of his future he couldn’t help but watch how many bets Michael was
placing. He realized this guy hasn’t lost even one race. Race 5 was coming up
next and Peter thought he might be able to win some money too.
PETER
Michael,
how did you learn to pick em like that?
MICHAEL
Learn?
HAHA, This isn’t something you learn. You got it in you or you don’t, and today
son, I got it in me.
PETER
I
can see that, would you be willing to uhh.. share some of those picks for race
5?
MICHAEL
Your
in luck son. My buddy down at the track gave me a tip this morning on an
amazing horse. His number is 14, hes a sure thing son. Put it all down on him
and youll be a happy man.
PETER
Really?
Thank you so much!
Peter thought of his
father as soon as he heard Michael say 14. You see Peters father’s lucky number was 14. His father also died a month earlier on the 14th. Peter
realized this 14 horse might be the solution to his problems. He checked his
pockets, and only found a 20 dollar bill. He walked over to the cash advance
and took out a total of $2,345 using his credit cards as backing. Saw the
teller, Placed his bet and went back to his seat.
MICHAEL
Great!
Your back, its about to start only 2 minutes to post time.
PETER
Oh,
um.. great. He said nervously.
MICHAEL
Chin
up son, like I said, it’s a sure thing.
PETER
I
really hope so.
MICHAEL
Get
ready… 3… 2… 1… AND THERE OFF!
END
SCENE
I really enjoyed reading your play. I find that the characters are very unique really want to read more of your script to find out more about your character. You gave a great details of the scene and gave details of the characters in the beginning. Throughout the scene i can see more of the character come out. great job.
ReplyDeleteReally? I was into it, and wanted to know if he lost his money or not. That’s a huge cliffhanger, but I guess that’s the point. You did an awesome job at keeping the reader engaged. It was a natural structure to an important event and the scene ends right before the climax. I guess ending the scene this way doesn’t leave the reader with any negative or positive emotions, just entertaining questions of what could have been. The voices of the characters was very distinct, and made the dialogue easy to anticipate. This makes the flow very fluent and allowed me to prepare for the result of the race. Great job on this piece, it seems to come natural to you.
ReplyDeleteWow. What a attention getter. First of all, you gave a great introductory paragraph explaining the setting and mood of the scene. The interaction between the two different characters was displayed perfectly because honestly, where else would these two different characters meet?! Peter and Michael played off of each others personalities well. I loved how Michael influenced Peter to act as a gambler himself. I hope he won the money and that his luck turned around a bit! The only thing I could comment on and correct would be some punctuational errors and capitalization errors as well. But those are easy fixes!
ReplyDelete